Leaving my deck

Susie Hopkins House, my incredibly lucky residence, has two upstairs rooms that share access to a private deck (the rest of the house can go through a window as well). I'm feeling a lot of conflicting emotions today, as I begin to walk towards the end of my time at Williams in the form of one more final exam, but my deck is a constant; where the weather is great and the view of trees and grass wonderful (if atypical).

But, given the recent failed rapture, I do feel ironically left behind, in a sense. My deck is only wonderful when I share it with the people I love, whether in rocking under an umbrella while singing, holding each other in the rain, or having one of those long conversations that mark true and lasting friendships. I'm never going to pay so little for such a palatial living situation; I couldn't have asked for a better place to end my time at Williams than Susie Hopkins, alongside my wonderful housemates Chris, Asad, Ayyaz, Ville, Mike, Diego, Rosie, and Will.

But I do have to come inside from the deck, and I do have to get food and take this test. I do need to leave this campus, and take my place in the wider world, whatever that will be. People have told me recently that I'll be fine, or that they expect me to accomplish great things, but I know this: luck, as Randy Pausch said, is preparation times opportunity, and I may well be "unaccomplished" in my life. I might not hold the titles and the offices that others have jokingly and non-jokingly attached to me; all I hope is to have enough to live securely, and to hold the titles of husband and father. It may well happen that more opportunities present themselves, and I will take them, but I will not scheme or devise a master plan to lead to any outcome.

My plan, instead, is to do what feels right, and to make decisions day-to-day that I can live with for the rest of my life. If my time at Williams and before is any indication, that may well be enough, and I have to live with both that possibility and the chance that it won't come to any fruition. But as I ended my last record op-ed: I may never uphold my values perfectly, but there are angels in history and the present time to guide me on my way.